


leave a light on (for me)

by artificialmac



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Breakups, Domestic Fluff, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Kinda?, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Misunderstandings, Technology, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21678223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: Kameron has all this new technology so that her whole house is rigged up to follow her commands. The only problem is, Vanjie’s is the only voice it recognizes.
Relationships: Kameron Michaels/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, Vanessa Vanjie Mateo/Kameron Michaels
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	leave a light on (for me)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Alex and madisonmateomicheals for helping me out with this premise. You are both stars. Also a HUGE thank you to Multi and Joley for beta-ing and being lovely as always.

Dane loved his new house.

It was fresh and clean and modern. It had enough space that Dane could host parties and get-togethers and even let a few of his sisters crash at his place if they needed to. The kitchen was huge, and the floors were wood, and his cooling bills weren’t as astronomically high as in Nashville. 

But his favorite thing by far about his new house was the technology. He had hooked up all his lights in all his rooms together. Linked his Alexas. He even had a smart fridge that told him which food was about to spoil. He had essentially turned his apartment into a smart house. The inner 10-year-old nerdy science fair winner couldn’t help but smile giddily at how the commands from his mouth turned the lights on and off, made his fireplace roar to life, and played his music so loudly he was sure his neighbors hated him.

He didn’t care. He had finally found his place. A place that he made and bought and paid for with the money he earned doing what he loved. 

It was a dream.

Jose also liked it.

Which was… not as important as Dane liking it, but it was nice to have his boyfriend treat the space like his own.

It had been a little over a year since they started dating, and about six months into having his own sanctuary when Dane’s tech started malfunctioning. Namely, his lights. 

He distinctly remembered waking up with a full bladder to a dark room, a small arm thrown over his waist, and a goofy smile on his face. 

“Bedroom lights low,” Dane spoke, and Jose buried his face in Dane’s chest in preparation for the coming light.

A few seconds ticked by. 

Then a few more seconds ticked by. 

The lights didn’t turn on.

Dane sighed. “Bedroom lights low,” he said more forcefully this time. 

Still, nothing happened.

Dane cursed under his breath and made a move to get up, but Jose held him fast. “Nooooo, stay here.”

“I gotta get the lights on, baby.”

“Lemme try.”

Dane smiled a bit, “Have at it, but your voice is nothing like mine, I don’t think it will-”

“Turn the lights on, Alegra!”

Suddenly, the bedroom filled with light.

After wincing at the blinding white for a few seconds, Dane looked over at his boyfriend, then his lights, then his boyfriend again, confusion evident on his face.

“How-”

“You jus gotta be forceful wit it.” Dane still was looking at him like he was crazy. “Watch,” Jose said and sat up more in bed. “Alandra!”

“That’s not-”

“Turn on some music!”

The soothing sound of a gaming soundtrack filled the bedroom a moment later.

“The fuck is this? This ain’t music.” 

Dane opened his mouth to argue that the Dark Souls theme song was most assuredly real music, but Jose cut him off again.

“Alexandra!”

“Still not her name-”

“Play Rihanna!”

And just as it had a moment ago, the music changed to a recognizable melody with a thrumming bass.

Jose smiled, proud of himself laid back down, and curled up to Dane’s side.

“How the fuck does that work for you?” Dane wondered aloud.

Jose just shrugged, and after his boyfriend remained sitting up, Jose sighed and pulled his boyfriend back down to the bed. He crawled up to lay on top of Dane and kissed him until he stopped thinking so much.

That was the first time it happened.

Over the next few months, whenever Dane would give a command for his home system to complete, nothing would happen, or after a short period of time, everything would happen all at once and scare the absolute shit out of him.

But no matter what Jose did or said, or called the system, it did just as he demanded. Dane had accepted it as a part of life, and while he found it inconvenient, he was rarely home as it were, so it wasn’t too irksome.

After Werq finished for the year, the couple didn’t leave Dane’s bed for over a week. They roused themselves up enough to order Postmates, trade exhausted kisses over their bed - turned dining table, and that was about it.

When they finally started feeling like humans and not adrenaline-driven sleep-deprived robots, they migrated to the living room.

Dane flipped on some Lifetime movie and let Jose meld himself to his side. The older man ran his fingers lazily through Jose’s hair, and he swore Jose started purring. 

Jose tilted his head up every now and then for a kiss.

It went on that way peacefully for a few hours, until Jose got bored, as he often did, and took the commercial break as an opportunity to properly kiss his boyfriend. Dane smiled against his lips as Jose deepened the kiss. Somehow Jose ended up in his lap, and Dane’s large hands found themselves pressed to Jose’s thighs with his chest flush against the younger man.

When the two pulled back to catch their breaths, Jose tilted his head a bit then raised his voice to a shout.

“Alana! Set the mood!”

“Setting the mood.” Came an automated voice.

Suddenly the lights dimmed in the living room, the TV flipped off, and some slow melody with a thrusting bass rang out in the previously silent room. Jose leaned back down to capture Dane’s lips, but the older man stopped him with a hand to his chest.

“When did you have time to do all that?” Dane chuckled.

“Think of it as a welcome home present,” Jose winked.

Dane laughed again, and Jose kissed the smile he had left there. “I still don’t understand why it works for you! Your voice is so much lower than mine!”

Jose sighed agitatedly, eager to get back to their previous activities, “Don’t worry ‘bout it, big man, just kiss me.”

Dane didn’t have to be told twice.

* * *

“The fuck you mean, I don’t care ‘bout you? Why the fuck you think I’m always over here? I ain’t been home in months. I came to see yo ass first thing I do, and you sayin’ I don’t care ‘bout you?”

Dane snapped.

He was tired and lonely, and he didn’t mean it.

“You never answer your phone! You’re always too tired or too busy to pick up the damn phone. How the hell can we have a relationship if you aren’t fucking here?”

“What’re you sayin’?”

The room was suddenly eerily silent. All the fire and fury in Jose’s eyes a moment ago was replaced with worry. Tears pricked the edges of the younger man’s eyes as if he knew Dane’s next words.

“I’m saying I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

He didn’t mean it. But at the same time he did.

Long-distance relationships were hard as it was, the added pressure of fame, and followers only made it more so. Jose had never been good at answering texts on time. Dane had known that from the start. But he had brought it up so many times, and so many times Jose had promised he’d do better.

Nothing had changed.

Other than touring getting longer and schedules getting busier and hardly any time to breathe, let alone call.

Dane knew it was unfair to expect to be Jose’s number one priority, and he didn’t. He just wanted to be a priority. And it felt like he wasn’t anymore. Not the way he used to be.

So he snapped.

As soon as he said it, Dane knew he hadn’t meant it. 

But the damage had already been done. _So why not double down?_

“You should go.”

Jose looked at him for a long moment, emotions playing like a slideshow behind his eyes. Then, he looked at the ground and left without another word.

* * *

Having to climb the four flights of stairs to his apartment after a grueling leg workout left Dane with barely enough energy to fish his keys out of his pocket. He managed to gather enough strength to put the key in the lock and turn it. It was quite a victory in Dane’s opinion. 

“Alexa, all lights on,” Dane called out.

Nothing happened.

Dane stopped in the doorway. He looked around at his still dark apartment.

“All lights on,” he said, louder this time.

Still, nothing happened.

Dane sighed and rummaged around in the dark for a few moments before finding the couch from memory. He plopped down on the cool suede, his newly sore muscles already relaxing into the plush comfort. He sat for a moment in the darkness, brow still furrowed at why his lights wouldn’t turn on.

It took the third try before Dane got an idea. 

He made his voice gruff and pitched it several octaves lower. “Lights turn on.” 

In a second, the apartment was illuminated.

Dane’s heart sank.

Of course.

Of course, his fucking house still only seemed to recognize Jose’s voice. Or at least, his very terrible impression of Jose’s voice. 

Dane felt a wave of emotions pass over him. 

Mostly sadness.

He got up from the couch and made his way to the shower. He tried to not notice how the shower nozzle was tilted so that it angled downward more than Dane usually liked. He didn’t move it, even if the water didn’t fully enclose him in its manufactured warmth. 

The tile felt especially cold on his feet, but he paid it no mind. He paid no mind to the extra toothbrush by his sink or the dirty towels that littered the floor, either. He’d pick them up tomorrow.

He didn’t pick them up the next day.

Or the day after.

He never moved the showerhead, never threw away the toothbrush, never figured out how to fix his lights.

Sometimes he would come home and not be able to bring himself to mimic his ex-lover’s voice. Some days it was just too much. He would sit in the dark and pretend that he liked it better that way.

One night everything changed.

Kameron had a local gig. Some bar around the corner that she had agreed to ages ago. It was a small affair, something to get her back on her feet. It felt good, Dane had to admit, Kameron always felt good, like an old friend.

She performed her heart out, channeled her pain in the form of an extra toothbrush into a performance that ranked in her top ten.

Dane was buzzing after the show, his fellow sisters complimented him, the ones that knew about the breakup gave him sad but knowing smiles. 

“The first one back is always the hardest.” Asia had told him.

And it had been hard, it had been hard in all the same ways it had been incredible. 

Dane checked his phone. He had three missed calls from Asia and one voicemail that he couldn’t make out over the pounding music from the club speakers. He shrugged and motioned for another shot from the bartender. He’d ask her about it tomorrow. 

Only when he turned around to face the rest of the club did his eyes meet familiar brown ones. 

Jose was watching him over the crowd, which was impressive given his height.

Dane broke eye contact as soon as his brain made the connection. 

What was he doing here? There was literally no reason for him to be here. Dane agreed to this gig precisely because it was so small. This wasn’t a coincidence.

Dane downed his shot and another without thinking. 

When he turned around, Jose had moved from his spot on the wall and was getting closer.

Dane turned back to the bar and gripped the wood with his whole hand, knuckles white, mind spinning due to the proximity to his ex and the added liquor. He braced himself for the tap on his shoulder or the familiar voice, but it didn’t come. He turned around slowly. Jose was nowhere to be seen.

Dane exhaled and made his way to the exit, stumbling occasionally. He couldn’t be here anymore. Couldn’t bear to see those deep brown eyes again.

He grabbed his stuff, throwing wigs and clothes into his duffle with little regard for their worth. He would fix them up in the morning. He reasoned with himself.

He pulled out his phone and made his way out of the club through the back door. He was so absorbed in ordering an uber that he hardly noticed the other body making its way back into the club.

The added alcohol made his fall that much more surprising.

In a flash, Dane was on the ground with what he knew was going to be a nasty bump on his head in the morning. 

Without thinking, Dane took the hand that was offered to him and tried to right himself. He only succeeded in almost falling over again.

“You okay there, big man?” 

Only then did he realize who had helped him up.

Dane yanked his arm back like it burned, and maybe it did. 

Jose looked hurt, maybe he was. 

The two looked at each other for a moment, all pain and rage, and sadness evident in their eyes.

“Let me help.” Jose finally whispered. “Please.” He added before Dane could snap at him.

Dane didn’t know why he nodded. He wasn’t that drunk. 

He knew it. 

Jose knew it. 

But he found himself nodding anyways, and before he could think, Dane was being led by the hand into a car and hearing his own address out loud. The drive felt like seconds, and Jose’s fingers interlocked with his felt like home.

The stairs were a challenge, but the two, after much finagling and encouragement, managed to get to the door. 

Jose let himself into Dane’s apartment without so much as a heartbreak.

He helped Dane out of his shoes and steered the taller man toward the couch to sit down for a moment.

“You gonna get the lights?” Jose spoke softly.

“They don’t work for me anymore. Not since you…” Dane trailed off, not because he didn’t want to offend Jose, but because he didn’t know if he could say it himself. _Since you left._

Jose nodded, expression blank. “Then don’t worry ‘bout that now, we gotta get you to bed.”

Dane hummed noncommittally. 

Jose pulled Dane up from the couch, and the two came face to face for the first time that night. They were inches apart. Dane knew his breath reeked of booze and longing, but Jose didn’t seem to mind as he instinctively moved closer to the taller man. 

“JJ, I-”

Jose winced at the nickname. “No, no, babe, don’t.” 

Dane didn’t let it go.

“What happened to us? We were so good once.”

“We not doin’ this now.”

Jose tried to move away, but Dane held fast.

“What were you doing there? Tonight?”

“I was in the area.”

“No, you weren’t.”

Jose sighed. “No, I wasn’t.”

The silence that stretched between them was so quiet it almost screamed. 

Dane wanted to shake himself, wanted to say all the things he had rehearsed for this exact moment.

His mouth wouldn’t work.

And as the time stretched on, he started losing hope that it ever would.

Jose shook his head, finally breaking eye contact. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“Okay.”

Jose lead Dane to the bedroom with their fingers interlocked. He helped Dane out of his shirt and restricting pants and sat on the edge of the bed as Dane finally laid down. 

“You gonna be alright, big man?”

Dane nodded even though he wasn’t sure if he was ever going to be alright. 

“Good.”

Jose made to stand up, but Dane’s hand shot out to grab his arm. “Don’t go.”

“Babe-”

“JJ, please.”

Jose looked from his ex to the bedroom door then back to his ex.

The pleading in Dane’s eyes should have made him embarrassed, but he couldn’t care about that right then. He just needed Jose to stay.

Jose nodded after a minute and sat back down. “But you gotta promise to go to sleep now, yeah?”

Dane nodded happily and intertwined their fingers again. 

“Activia, turn the lights off.”

Dane was out in minutes.

Jose waited a bit longer than strictly necessary to pry his hand out of the older man’s grip, and even then, he waited still. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t know why.

Jose looked up at the ceiling and wondered aloud.

“Alexa, why the fuck is this so hard?’

“I’m sorry. I don’t understand.” 

“Yeah, me neither.”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration for this came from: Light On by Maggie Rogers


End file.
